Monday, 27 October 2014


1) What if he's actually a fat, balding paedo?!?! Best put the bestie on speed dial pronto.

2) What has life come to that I'm resorting to dating apps...

3) Oh well...YOLO

4) Oh shit...I have nothing to wear. I might have to cancel.

5) I wonder if he's as nervous as I am...

6) Is he going to think I'm easy for even being on this app? 

7) I hope he doesn't expect me to go home with him...

8) That definitely won't be happening. Even if we did meet on 'Happn'.

9) I might kiss him. I love kissing. He won't think I'm easy if I kiss him will he?

10) What if he thinks I'm hideous in real life...

11) Or worse. What if our witty chat is purely written chemistry and we both make small talk whilst trying to think of an excuse to leave.

12) I didn't think this through.

13) Are we going to eat?  What if I get food in my teeth?!?! Will he tell me I have food in my teeth?! Oh GOD...What can I eat that's unlikely to get stuck in my teeth?!?!

14) Do guys actually expect a woman to go halves or do they have every intention of paying?

15) *Puts on Independent Women by Destiny's Child*... I don't mind paying.

16) *Song finishes*...On second thoughts, us women are put through enough 'p' words without adding another. Periods. Pregnancies. He can pay.

17) I'm not going to get drunk. I'll sip at my wine like a lady...*1 hour later* . I think I'm slurring. Too late to go back now. *Orders another drink*

18) Is he going to try and kiss me? Do I want to kiss him back? If so, how do I let him know without reenacting something out of a soft porno. 

19) *After 5 minutes of getting in the door*...Why hasn't he texted? Oh, damn. I like him more now.
*30 minutes later...receives text* ... Omg. He's too keen. He's not the one. 


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