52 THOUGHTS WE ALL ENDURE ON A HANGOVER

1) Why did I drink last night?

2)  I never want to drink again.

3) Are these heart palpitations? I think I'm dying.

4) No but seriously, what the fuck happened last night?

5) Am I dreaming or did my lips lock with some sleazy guy on inferno's dance floor?

6) I don't remember what he looked like.

7) Why did I think shots would be a good idea?

8) If hangovers get worse with age, I am seriously considering the path to teetotalism.

9) Did I eat last night?

10) *Looks on bedroom floor....sees remains of kebab and chips* Oh....I'll take that as a yes.

11) Why am I such an animal?

12) I need more food. Domino's Feed four for £5, what you sayin'? (This is totally acceptable to eat all by myself because I'm hungover).

13) I need to be sick.

14) What is life?

15) I know I always say this, but I'm never drinking again.

16) When will I learn?

17) So much for the last train...

18) I don't want to see daylight today.

19) If anyone saw me right now....

20) Where is my phone?

21) Oh god....not again.

22) At least I have my purse.

23) That's a point...How much money did I spend on alcohol and taxi's?!

24) Scrap that...ignorance is bliss.

25) I can't actually move.

26) Wine is the devil.

27) WHY IS MY DOMINO'S TAKING SO LONG?!!!!

28) If I could have one wish, it'd be for my pizza to hurry the fuck up.

29) How did I do this four times a week at uni?!

30) WHO WAS I??!?!

31) I wish I was that hardcore now.

32) I should just accept my fate.

33) How did a few drinks at the pub turn into THIS?

34) Better check my snapchat story on my siblings phone...

35) Oh god.

36) I am not Taylor Swift.

37) I can't sing.

38) Why do I think I'm Tigger from Winnie the Pooh when I'm intoxicated?

39) Someone needs to tell me to stop bouncing around that dance floor like I've never heard music before.

40) I can't dance.

41) I feel needy.

42) Can someone please stroke my hair and tell me everything is going to be okay?

43) While they're at it, can they cook me dinner too?

44) Food. Always more food.

45) Leftover kebab has never tasted so good.

46) My head hurts. SO MUCH.

47) Come to think of it, everything hurts.

48) Oh god, I've been tagged on Facebook. Not to self: do not top up makeup when drunk. You will resemble a Jordan/ Jodie Marsh/ Towie combo.

49) I wonder who was victim to my drunk texting this time...

50) Probably a good thing I've lost my phone.

51) Wake me up when this pain ends. All well and good except I CAN'T SLEEP! Damn you, jager.

52) Hair of the dog? Sometimes it's the only way.

The Male Species According to 'Made in Chelsea'

Yesterday was special for two reasons: 

1) I managed to try not one, not two, but three new delicacies at my favourite cafe (if you follow me on instagram or twitter, you will know that I am talking about none other than Gail's Bakery. I also apologise for my constant updates/check-ins. I never thought it was possible to fall in love with bricks and mortar...until I walked into the one in Barnes village). And of the three, the buttermilk pancakes with pear, maple syrup, walnuts and a side of greek yoghurt was my fave! Picture below *queue inevitable mouthwatering* 

2) My favourite reality show ever returned to our screens...Yes, Made in Chelsea is back bitches!

After watching yesterdays episode however, and as the show is based around people; their friendships, relationships and fallouts, it made me question the nature of 21st century adolescent behaviour! (Admittedly, a lot of it is for show but I live by the saying 'ignorance is bliss' when watching it as it makes it so much more enjoyable...)

Firstly, is monogamy really that hard to come by nowadays? I mean, even Chelsea's happiest couple are on the rocks as Alex supposedly did the dirty on poor Binksters!! Is he taking a leaf out of love rat Spencer's book?!?!

And let's just take a minute to address the fact that Andy and Spencer, previous rivals and crucial members of Louise's love triangle, are now bezzies?!!!?? They even order the same drink (and surprisingly it's a cappuccino, not a bloody mary!) *samesies* *snapsies* *cutesies* *sick-in-my-mouth-sies*

....Another shock to the system was that Louise ends up at dinner with none other than her ex-boyfriend aka Spencer aka cheating bulldog, and Alex and Binky on what appeared a double date type thaaang. Does this mean that she's forgiven him?! Should we do the same for similar scumbags we will most likely come across at some point in our lives? Finally, what does it say about relationships nowadays when commitment to one sole person is almost out of the ordinary, and cheating the norm! 

And then there's Jamie Laing. As much as I can't help but have a soft spot for his cute little face and puppy dog eyes, he is the worst of them all! Making a grand gesture on a horse and carriage and declaring his love for beautiful Lucy at the end of last season, only to go to America a week later, sleep around and tell another girl he loves her. If I had a penny for the amount of times that boy has thrown the word love around, I'd be spending a lot more time in Topshop (if that's even possible). 

Jamie's probing Spencer to warn Alex of the cheating rumours was all down to 'boy code' it seems, judging by his claim that boys have "gotta protect the boys"...

But what about girl code? Surely Louise's forgiveness of dear Spennie, and Lucy's apparent forgiveness of Jamie nearing the end of the episode, isn't showing us girls in the best of light! Surely it only serves to suggest to the boys that they can keep doing what they're doing and get away with it as they'll be forgiven in the end. I much preferred the feisty Lucy we saw at the start of the ep when she refused to let Jamie kiss her and walked out on him in the bar #justsayin'

The quote of the episode would have to be Mark Francis in his attempt to comfort Binky over the whole Alex sitch: 

"Great minds discuss ideas, mediocre minds discuss events, simple minds discuss people". 

I love it! Such truth in these words. You can always rely on Mark Francis to lighten up a situation (even if he was quoting Socrates). 

All in all, a wonderful episode and I can't wait for the rest of the action to kick off this series! 

What were your highlights? 

XOXO